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The diary of a Scot in Amsterdam

January 25th, 2009

Burns Night in Amsterdam

For the second time in the month I have spent an evening at Café Pakhuis Wilhelmina. The last occasion was at Hogmanay, whereas this time it was to attend a Burns Supper. Now, the purpose of this event is of course to celebrate the life and works of the poet Rabbie Burns, who lived from 1759-96 (according to Wikipedia at least). He is a national hero in Scotland, and his birthday, that is the 25th of January, has become a sort of de facto national day. I for one am quite pleased that we have taken to celebrating the life of a drunken, womanising, working class poet instead of some general, king or politician.

This particular event had been thought up by a guy called Andy Bruce, a fellow Scot living in Amsterdam, who had actually emailed me about a year ago about arranging such an evening. I was very curious about the sort of crowd that would turn up – would it be a room full of homesick expats, or instead mainly confused Dutchies? In fact, it turned out to be mostly the second with a few of the first.

The evening got off to a fine start with plenty of whisky, soup, music, and of course the highpoint of the evening – the piping in of and address to the haggis. I am not aware of any other cultures in which it is normal to talk to a plate of dead, cooked meat before plunging a knife into it and waxing further about its “gushing entrails bricht (bright)”. It is certainly a site to behold.

I must say that the guy flown over to address the beast and later to read Tam O’ Shanter was brilliant. Worth the entrance money on its own!

So, more music, whisky, beer, and so on later, it was time to head back home through the freezing midnight of Amsterdam in January. At this point, while trying my best to cycle in a straight line while somewhat worse for wear, I was stopped and hassled by the police because I did not have a little red light on the back of my bike (I did have a white one at the front, but that is not enough). I tried the tactic of talking at them about nonsense until they got bored and drove away, which amazingly worked. No fine this time, at least.

One last thing – Andy had wrote to D C Thomson to ask if they would sponsor the event. Naturally, being skinflint east-coast types they did not, but instead sent this enormous ceramic cast of Maw and Paw Broon and the Bairn. Doubtless not many non-Scots will know what I am talking about, but here is is anyway.

Maw and Paw Broon and the Bairn

January 5th, 2009

Injections

Since we will be shortly heading off into the wilds of eastern Europe and Asia, it is necessary that we get innoculated against a range of terrifying diseases. To this end we had an appointment this morning at the LUMC in Leiden, which is apparently well known among cyclists as the place to go for this sort of thing.

The doctor who we spoke to began by asking where exactly we were going, and this is when things became a wee bit complicated. Because we will travel through so many countries and climates, there ends up being quite a lot of things that we could fall victim to. What makes the whole thing irritating as much as frightening is that it is of course not possible to do it all in one visit, or even in a couple; we need to be injected a total of four times over the course of a month and a half to receive adequate protection. Here is what is on the menu:

  • Typhoid fever
  • Tetanus
  • Polio
  • Diptheria
  • Rabies – unfortunately the vaccine doesn’t actually prevent this but gives you a bit more time to get to the hospital if attacked by a mad dog, etc.
  • Hepatitis A
  • Hepatitis B
  • Frühsommer-Meningoenzephalitis (FSME) – Never heard of this one before, but it’s a horrible virus that you can get from ticks and which will cause your brain to swell up and possibly kill you.

So after all that I guess you are as good as invincible. Of course, it’s important to put things into perspective – you can get innoculated against everything under the sun, but it won’t help much if you break your leg or get run over by a car. Life is full of risks, whether at home inside or on the road in the middle of China.

January 1st, 2009

Hogmanay at Pakhuis Wilhelmina

Happy New Year! It’s 2009. Christ, the last year went past pretty quick. Oh well.

Since last year’s attempt to organise a part for Hogmanay was such a disaster, this time the plan was to go elsewhere. Laura had suggested Pakhuis Wilhelmina, a venue next to the IJ, and for want of anything better to suggest I was happy to go along with this.

I must say that I really liked the place, its kitschy look reminding me of soul nights in the Woody back in Glasgow, bringing more than a little nostalgia with it. The music was brilliant, with the sole exception the appearance of some nervous and over-earnest guy with a guitar at one point just as the atmosphere was getting good. More one for a quiet Sunday evening I would have thought, and not the biggest party (excepting Koninginnedag, of course) of the year.

Once again, the strange Dutch tradition of trying to maim and kill each other with fireworks as the clocks struck 12. Good fun, but my attention span for this sort of thing lasts about five minutes before the desire to return inside for a beer takes over!

Astrid, Andy, and Emily with sparklersAstridLaura

Didn’t stay too late in the end, but still had fun. If things go according to plan, I may be in Hong Kong for the next New Year. A lot to come before then, though.

December 29th, 2008

Christmas in Scotland

Myself and Astrid have been in Scotland for a few days. This was of course mainly to spend Christmas with my family, but also of course so that I could see some friends in Glasgow.

I’m not a big fan of Christmas, but this one was actually quite stress-free and enjoyable. Perhaps because I see all my relatives so rarely these days, I really liked spending time with them and of course enjoying my mum’s cooking. It was also an interesting introduction for Astrid to British Christmas traditions, such as crackers, plum pudding, and the like. We spent Sinterklaas with her folks a few weeks ago, so now the cultural exchange is complete.

On Saturday night we met up with Danny and then Chris in Glasgow, a slightly chaotic affair with far too much beer and whisky being consumed (on my part at least), to be sure. Still, always nice to experience old ways for short periods.

Grandma, Astrid, Catriona before Christmas dinnerMe, Grandma, uncle Peter, MumAstrid and my Dad

There was a third purpose for our visit. We need to buy a whole lot of stuff for our cycling trip next year, and recent changes in currency values mean that it is much cheaper to buy things in the UK as compared with the Eurozone. So it was then that we have been round various outdoor and bicycle shops in Edinburgh and Glasgow, and have come home with quite a lot of booty (and much lighter wallets in the process, unfortunately). Highlights include waterproof panniers, a stove that will burn petrol, diesel, aviation fuel, in fact almost anything, a high-tech water purification system, Gore-Tex shoes, socks that you can wear for a month before they smell, and other such innovations. Perhaps most important of all, I have some special cycling underwear. Sexy it is not (it looks like you’re wearing an enormous rubber sanitary towel) but pretty much essential if my arse is not going to look like one of those pink baboons after 10000km.

December 21st, 2008

Wallpaper, plaster, and sandpaper

I have been very busy during the last few weekends with a new project, this time aimed at earning some cash. All this came about when I was called a few weeks ago by Emily to ask whether I would like to become involved with a little business that she and her friend Maaike were setting up. The purpose of this business was to carry out general decorating and other handiworks, such as wallpaper stripping, electrics, and so on. Since I have been very keen to find a source of income that does not involve working with my laptop the whole time, I was keen indeed to be involved.

Our first piece of work is fixing up a room in a doctor’s surgery not far from my old house in Amsterdam. We’ve been busy every weekend stripping wallpaper, sanding the floor, and decorating. So far it’s going well; let’s hope it will turn into a regular source of income. Coming home in the evening caked in plaster dust with a toolbox under my arm, I feel like a real bouwvakker (builder), and to add to the atmosphere, we’ve been drinking plenty cups of tea and listening to a cheesy classic rock station on the radio. It’s all stuff like Genesis and Status Quo, the sort of music that you wouldn’t be seen dead with in your record collection but which kinda fits with the job.

December 11th, 2008

Filming on the Lange Duinen

After much work organising a boat, trailer, and car, not to mention arranging help with filming from Astrid, it has finally been possible to do some filming for my Australian desert boat project.

The logistics of this were quite complex. Laura had kindly (and perhaps quite foolishly) agreed to let me borrow her car. I had to pick it up in Alkmaar though, where her mum lives.

Now, I hate driving in any case, mostly because I’m not very good at it. Not only that, but I have never driven on the right side (or for British people, the wrong side) of the road before, and in fact not on any side of any road for more than three years. I spent about twenty minutes driving around Alkmaar trying to find my way onto the motorway, time which was probably in fact quite well spent getting to grips with this new state of affairs. Countless times I cursed as I smashed my left hand into the door trying to change gear, since the gear stick is of course on the right.

Sweating and trying to keep it calm, I headed south towards the tiny village of Nieuwland between Utrecht and Gorinchem, where I had arranged to pick up a trailer from Astrid’s cousin Arjan (who I had met a few weeks ago). In the end I had decided that his boat was just a bit too big – a decision which proved later to be correct – and had instead arranged to borrow the other boat that I had seen recently. This meant driving a little further to Gorinchem to pick it up.

With boat, trailer, and Astrid collected, the last journey of the evening was back north towards the Lange Duinen near Soest, where the filming was to take place. With absolutely no spare cash for anything so extravagant as a hotel room, we instead set up my tiny tent in the car park next to the dunes. This is of course niet toegestaan (not allowed), which we were reminded of the next night (keep reading…).

This film work is all about optimism, and my own sometimes unreasonably optimistic outlook showed its downside the next morning. The weather forecast was rain across the whole of the Netherlands, but I had told myself “What do they know? The sun could just as easily shine if it wants to”. Of course it didn’t.

Since the next day did indeed have sun forecast, this did not need to be a disaster. We took the time to try out various shots and camera angles, and to actually see and feel what it was like to drag the little boat over the sand. Despite its size, it was still a big effort to get it moving. This is a good thing though – the strain in my muscles and face in the film will be real. Just as well I went for the smaller of the two boats.

There was not too much to be done with the rest of the day except to head into Soest in search of something good to eat. For what is one of poshest parts of Holland there were in fact precious few restaurants to be found, aside from a Chinese restaurant established in what looks like someone’s living room. The food was nevertheless delicious, and much appreciated after a night and day in the cold. Later we had a drink in what seemed to be the only pub in town. Across the bar, a group of middle-aged men were gambling quite huge amounts of money.

Me being directorMe on the Lange DuinenWorking on the storyboard in the pub

Heading back out into the frosty air, we made our way back to the tent and settled in for a good night’s sleep before Wednesday’s filming. It was thus quite disturbing to be awoken at 3am by headlights and the noise of car engine outside the tent. Sure enough, upon unzipping the tent we were confronted by a dark figure in uniform towering over us. The conversation, roughly translated, went like this:

Policeman: “Good evening. You do realise that you are not allowed to camp here?”

Me: “Uh, um, no, yes, uh, no…”

Policeman: “There’s a wee yellow sign that says so.”

Astrid: “Do you want the long or the short story? The short one is that we’re here to make a film. We’re here with our boat and the car over there and we’re filming here tomorrow.”

Me: “It’s an art film, you know.”

(long pause)

Policeman: “And you’re going away tomorrow?”

Me: “Yes.”

Policeman: “And is there anywhere you can go to now?”

Astrid: “No.”

Policeman: “And there’s no-one else coming?”

Me: “No.”

(long pause)

Policeman: “Well, in that case, I wish you goodnight. OK?”

Both: “Thank you!!!”

And that was the end of the incident. It could have been a lot worse, I can tell you. I suppose it balances out my previous bad experiences with the law in this country, at least a little bit.

On Wednesday morning it had stopped raining, but a new problem had presented itself – the ground was completely frozen solid. Not only did the dunes look even less like an Australian desert than before, but the rock-hard sand would have scratched the little boat to pieces. There was nothing to be done but wait.

Test filming in the rainTest filming in the rainFilming
FilmingFilmingFilming

By around 12 o’clock, the sun had driven most of the frost from the ground and we were able to beginning filming at last. All the troubles of the preceding days suddenly evaporated as the sun cast a beautiful orange glow on the dunes and the adrenalin hit of actually working at a project kicked in. That sounds terribly clichéd, but it’s true – it’s the feeling that comes so rarely but it’s unmistakable when you have it.

By 4pm, the light and the batteries for the camera were up, and it was time to pack up and go home. What followed was another 3 or 4 hours of driving in the rain to bring everything back to its rightful owners, and finally a very annoying and unscheduled hour of waiting in the middle of Amsterdam for a night bus home. At about 2am, I finally fell exhausted into bed. Only later will it become clear if all this was worth it.

November 29th, 2008

Sorted out, sort of

After yesterday’s unpleasant end to the afternoon at the Vakantiefietser, I returned today with a clearer head about the bicycle that I wanted, and also to talk things over with the guy in the shop. I didn’t want to get in any kind of argument with him, but rather just make it clear that I was not happy with how things went yesterday. It seemed that this was preferable to just letting it fester. In any case, he will lose a lot of sales if he keeps going this way.

I am really not very good at this sort of difficult situation, but it turned out fairly amicably. I explained that I was quite upset, he apologised, and hopefully that will be the end of the matter. And in about six weeks time, I should have my new bike!

November 28th, 2008

Bikes ordered

After our visit to check out bikes at the Vakantiefietser last week, the time had come to finally take the plunge and order some bikes. This is it now – money is being spent, and the trip has taken a step closer to reality.

The first thing to do was to go for a test ride on a variety of different bikes. I must say that it was really enjoyable to have a shot on a decent bike, being so used as I am to crappy bikes thrown together from parts of other ones which were beyond repair. Well, I should hope so, seeing that there’s not too much change out of €2000 for each of these beasts!

As I cycled round the roads and tracks near the Westergasfabriek, I really felt that I could keep going for ever on one of these, it was such a pleasure to be on. Whether I will still feel like that after ten months on the road is a different story.

Later, back at the shop, we got measured up and began discussing options and so on – it seems that every part of a bicycle in available in at least three different types. It was about this point that I felt myself beginning to suffer from information overload, and also that things went a bit sour.

I explained to the guy that was helping us that although I was definitely going to order a bicycle, I would quite like to think everything over for a bit, sleep on it, and come back tomorrow with my final decision. Upon hearing this, he got a bit upset and started acting, in my opinion, quite childishly.

He started making this over-dramatic show of making sure that I could not see my frame measurements (lest I go elsewhere and buy a bike, presumably), and basically just making me feel very uncomfortable indeed. I of course felt myself getting quite angry about this, and thus in even less of a position to make decisions about what to buy. Goddamit, I’m spending a fuck of a lot of money, and I need to be sure that I am doing it right!

The whole thing left quite a bad taste in my mouth, when I should have been super-happy about ordering my brand new bike. I will need to go back tomorrow and try to sort things out.

November 22nd, 2008

Test filming on the Lange Duinen

Encouraged by having found “the” boat yesterday, I took a trip today to the Lange Duinen, the large expanse of sand near the village of Soest where I intend to make a short film in the near future. There were four things I wanted to do;

  1. See how it looks in the winter, since I was last here in August.
  2. Test out the fancy video microphone I have just bought.
  3. Test out the DIY steadycam I built yesterday, loosely based on the instructions here.
  4. Find some nice places to film so as to be able to compose shots beforehand.

Everything went pretty OK, except that this little “desert” was not very “deserted”. What I mean to say is that there were people walking dogs everywhere, and the sand is quite churned up by footprints all over the place. It will not exactly evoke the unexplored Australian outback that I had in mind.

Thinking about it later though, it occurred that this might actually make the film more interesting, and certainly funnier – if it in fact becomes more about some lost traveller from the past stuck in the middle of Holland. A sort of refugee looking for a wilderness. Need to think it through a bit more.

Lange Duinen, Soest

November 21st, 2008

Another wee boaty

Last week, I went to see a man about a boat, which was almost perfect except perhaps a wee bit too heavy. In the meantime, I had got to hear about another, smaller boat which might suit the job. It belongs to a friend of Astrid’s dad.

Unfortunately he lives in Gorinchem, which is a quite a long way from Amsterdam, by Dutch standards at least. The description I had of the thing was encouraging enough to make the trip though anyway.

There was a little bit of confusion when I rang him to say that I was on the way, since he thought that I was coming tomorrow – it is of course totally possible that I did say that… Thankfully this was not a problem.

And very glad I was that I made the trip, since the boat is absolutely perfect for my film, even better than the other one. If everything goes well, I hope to do the filming in a couple of weeks.

Another wee boat

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